Little Things Are Big Things… the title of Jessica’s most recent post. Words that were from her heart, that’s what Jess does, she honors us with the gift of opening up that beautiful soul of hers. The article goes on to tell us Jess’s journey to achieving her dream. How the little things she does every day have added up to bigger things. How hard work pays off and how her running has improved because of 10 min of core a day.
Her voice kept popping into my mind, little things = big things. I started thinking, the universe works slow. The world moves in evolutionary time, not warp speed, and we are not designed to have instant results. Quick fixes = negative outcomes. Examples:
Doping = losing your Tour de France title
Quick weight loss = health issues and eventually more weight gain
Credit Card debt = little purchases add up to mountains of debt
Over eating = weight gain and disease
Jess was talking about running, but it got me thinking, all of the small choices we make everyday add up large things.
Getting it Off My Chest
Now comes my confessional, I’m guilty of doing some pretty destructive things on a daily basis that have added up to larger problems. Let’s start with my eating. You might think that I’m a healthy eater all of the time, and for the most part I am, especially when I’m training for a big race but, when you run and you’re a Mom, you tend to eat… a lot, or at least I have been doing quite a bit.
When I feel stressed or frustrated, I tend to grab a handful of chips, cookies or candy. After all, how can a small handful hurt? All of these small handfuls have added up, and I am currently carrying around quite a few extra pounds. A problem that has left me feeling pretty unhappy. Instead of dealing with my frustration, I unconsciously grab food as a “reward” and it has taken it’s toll: not only am I still frustrated, I am also unhappy with myself. When I catch myself grabbing high calorie junk food, I remind myself that the small choices I make today effect my tomorrow. Do I want a doughnut, or do I want to live my best life? The choice is mine. It’s not always easy to stay on track, it takes effort, but an internal battle I am willing to fight.
I have also been doing this in my marriage. I am going out on limb here and revealing something very intimate info to all of you, something I hesitate doing, but I know I’m not alone, and I want to share so that we all grow.
You see, I’ve been letting many small irritations add up to a growing unhappiness in my marriage. Let me explain, as many of you know, when you live with someone, and you live life, paying bills, going to bathroom in front of, and all of the unglamorous things we must do, your comfort can become a burden.
For the past few years, when my husband does these very normal human things, like gulps his drink, lifts his ass in a crowded restaurant to fart, doesn’t pick up his phone when we are having a family issue (I swear he never answers that phone!), fails to change times zones on his watch and we miss our flight (yes, this really happened, I am sitting in Denver International typing this while we wait 7 hours for the next flight), leaves wet towels on the bed, should I go on? I don’t know anyone who hasn’t experienced similar situations with their spouse, I’m sure my husband feels the same about me! My point is that being married is work. When these things come up, I get frustrated, grossed out, or irritated. Most of the time, I bite my lip, and stuff my feelings.
Small things add up to big things, and oftentimes I am left feeling a big frustration with my marriage. Today when we missed our flight, I was mad. I told my husband I felt disappointed, I told him I felt let down and I walked very fast in front of him for about 10 min. Then I made the conscious choice to forgive him. I just let it go and said to myself, “I’m not buying into my frustration, just not going there.”
Making him suffer, not to mention making myself suffer, was not going to change our situation and was doing no one any good.
I am making it sound easy, being angry and irritated is much easier than forgiving. Just like sitting on the couch is much easier than running, or choosing healthy foods with portion control is much harder than eating junk. It’s much easier for an alcoholic to drink than not, after all. Not doing the core work would have been easier for Jess. It’s much easier to sit and watch an accident than jump in and help. You see where I am going – living your best life takes effort. And, just as Jess expresses to us, small things add up to big.
Make The Most Of It
Nothing good in life comes without work- sure we fall off the wagon from time to time, but being aware and getting right back on track is the key to joy and happiness. Forgiving my husband in those human moments is essential for the long term well being of our marriage and, equally important, the well being of myself. When I make good choices today, it pays off in a big way down the road. Marriage takes work, as does anything good in your life. If it were easy our divorce rate wouldn’t be so high. Joy and hope take effort.
Plus, If we had not missed our flight, I would never had meet this amazing lady! Marcia’s Healthy Slice I’ve been following her blog religiously for several years.
I saw on Instagram that she landed in Denver, and I hunted her down as she made her way to baggage claim. Everything always turns out for the best. It all made sense after that.